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August 31 Title hereI'm always wondering what to put in as the title. Hence the "title here" heading.
The rest of the week ended up much better. G went to her meeting. They basicly said that she was being too negative and saying that the IU program is not working. (she never said anything even close to that) G had written out a list of scenarios that could (and have) happen(ed) and would have unwanted impact. She gave it to our supervisor. The supervicor only passed it on to who she was supposed that morning. Not surprsing. The basic jist of what they said was that we do too much for the kids and that if there is an emergency, the KIDS shoudl contact their transportations, etc. Yeah. Let's have teens make decisions during an emergency. Cannot wait to see how parents like thta.
Anyway... we have busted our butts for over a week and the room at least looks welcoming and as good as we could make it. We are spouting the "party line" that everything is wonderful. It will benefit the kids but hopefully not destroy our spirits.
Eddie and I went out to get his hair cut this morning. My, my but he does look handsome. I have to get a new ink cartridge for our prointer and see if that fixes it. It hasn't worked in a while. I'm hoping it is like some of the past printers we have had where if the ink's too low it just won't print anymore. If not, it's time for a new printer. Eddie needs to print out papers he needs to do before the start of school on Tuesday.
One of the interpreters who was laid off last year got a job in the next county. I am glad for her. She just got married over the summer and not having a job would have been an additional stress. I like it when my friends are happy.
Jerry dear is still being Jerry. He has been texting or calling much more often and talks to me like he did when we were dating. We haven't seen each other since the end of June. I dunno. Wednesday night I nearly went over to his house. We had been flirting back and forth and by the time I finally decided I wanted to go over there he was in bed. Grrr. Last night, he was beat. The end of the month is always crazy where he works. I dunno, Maybe the Higher Powers will give me a little guidance. That would be lovely. Right now I feel like that is the only way I could make sense of everything. Then again, I need to remind myself to just relax and see where the next wave takes us (me).
It is the weekend - and that's a very good thing!! August 30 woohoo Things are looking better! Not really anything differnt but we are making progress on the room. No set schedules for the kids yet but the room looks like some love and care went into it. (and there was much of both) The kids come on Tuesday and that will help us to focus on what's important - them!
G had her meeting, which was called a "learning discussion" by the big kahuna. It is amazing what they try to pull. Some out and out lies mad by our supervisor... but all of that isn't the important stuff.
More tomorrow. August 29 broken?With any luck, people enter into education for the kids - to share their own love of learning with children or to improve the kids' lot by opening new worlds to them. The reasons people go into special ed vary even more. There is the helper in all of us. Many have had an experience with a sibling or close friend or relative that drew them into the field. Once you are through the majority of your training and start working with students, you find working with them rewarding. As trite as it sounds, you learn far more from the kids than you think they could ever learn from you. The pay is so-so. This year I feel like I am finally making a decent amount of money where I can take care of my own children and household. It has taken me 13 years in this system to get there and 26 years as an interpreter.
I fell in love with sign language the first minute I saw a video of the National Association of the Deaf during my junior year in high school. Before that, I was planning to become a physical therapist. I started out at what deaf people in my community call "old" Pa School for the Deaf. At the time it was a residential school for the deaf housed in a beautiful campus in the Mt. Airy section of Philadelphia. I took Sign language I and II there and found out I had a knack for learning American Sign Language. The following summer I went to Gallaudet University for 3, 2 week intensive Sign Language classes. I lived in the dorms on Gally's campus and got to hang out with the deaf students there for the summer. Deaf people understood my sign and I understood them. I then went to the Community College of Philadelphia which had one of the only if not the only interpreter training program in Pennsylvania.
I have been interpreting since 1981. (a mere baby at the time) I have seen changes in education. I cannot say I like what I see now. The inclusion model pushes to a point where special ed kids are in classes they may not be able to handle academically if the parents want them there for socialization. I'm not going through the whole argurment and the inherent flaws. Parents are going to have to speak out - those that understand their special ed child is not being challenged and learning by plopping them next to their general ed peers. General Ed parents are going to have to see that the regular academic program is suffering because of a reduction in speed for inclusion. NCLB will also falter as schools may not be able to be cover the entire curriculum for all students. It will take parents sueing for a resource room or mainstream model and reg ed parents realizing and sueing for their child's education as well. The only thing the muckity mucks listen to is the threat of a suit.
Which FINALLY brings me to "broken". Most would have thought I was saying the system is broken. Maybe. The head teacher I work with is the most amazing teacher I have ever met from NY to VA. She raises the bar for ALL of the students in her class. And her class has had kids in it that are deaf and borderline qualify for MMR services to deaf and goofy gifted. I have seen her having discussions with kids where they want to contribute so much to the discussion that she has to give the kids numbers so everyone gets a turn to speak. She sticks up for the kids and has their best interest first and foremost in her thoughts and actions. She taught one of the heads of the state department for the deaf and hard of hearing who says she is grateful she had G who taught her about the important things in life and continually challenged her to not settle for anything but her best effort. She is also an effective manager. She takes care of her staff. When we are taken care of and challenged to do and be our best, we are able to provide excellent services to the kids and they benefit. She sticks up for us too. This is where she gets in trouble. Being moved into a storage space to be used as a classroom, then not being able to get into that room, not being trained to do the itinerant services she is supposed to be doing 60% of the time, and then being told we had to have our things out of the school store next door by Tuesday afternoon has taken it's toll on her. She spoke to the district superintendant of the distrtict we are in (she had worked with him in the last district we were housed in) for 1 minute yesterday. This seemed to be the last straw. She can say things in the most diplomatic was possible, but apparently we made too much noise.
G has to appear before the head of the IU, the head of IU personnel, the head of the IU's special ed section, the assitant to the head of special ed and our immediate supervisor at 8 am tomorrow morning. It took all day for her to contact her union rep. She will be going there tomorrow with much love behind her. G has turned many kids around and has taught them to think. As far as she is concerned, she just cannot do it anymore. The supervisors in each department, hearing and vision, autistic, serverely physically disabled etc by and large have very thin skins when any of us peons say anything but expect us to say yes to everything as they do to their supervisors. They are spineless. They want the teachers, assistants, job coaches, therapists.... all to say thank you sir please may I have another any and everytime they tell us what to do and how to do it. The life skills class cannot have money to buy snacks and water for the kids to have on their "work breaks". The kids do jobs and get regular breaks. The snacks and drinks were rewards and a teaching tool to have them get ready for the working world. Nope. Not happening. They now do their own fund raising or pay out of pocket. If something just isn't good for a kid we are supposed to keep quiet and do our jobs. We are to convey a positive air while doing it. G is a tough cookie. I have only ever seen her tear up once in my 13 years with her. Today, they had her sobbing. She is on high blood pressure and anxiety meds. How can anyone with any kind of a conscience do this to someone of G's caliber and caring? I am completely at a loss.
I told my supervisor today we always do a great job for the kids and put their interets first. I will do everything I can to be positive and cheerful for them. If someone asks me a direct question I will not lie. My supervisor just kept saying that we have to be happy we even have a program and a "classroom". She is so spineless it makes me sick. We cannot think what we can do for G to help. I wish I could think of something, anything. I wish there was something I could do for the kids. August 27 better attitude Which normally makes all the difference. I dunno where it came from, but I have a btter outlook today. If it is knowing the girls actually start their classes today or I just convinced myself to not be negative. Whatever caused the new 'tude, I'll take it.
I miss the girls. There's just no denying that. There's a part of me though that's figuring out - oh hey I may be able to keep up with things a little easier. I can wash the dishe and not have the sink re-filled in a half hour. Laundry isn't quite as daunting...you get the idea. It's weird. I'm not grateful the kids are gone, but maybe I'm trying to see the positive side?
Went to Colleen's school to drop off the forgotten items. It was good to see her. She and Brooke have things more organized now. I did not buy a rug at Big Lots for them. It just seemed silly when Jason has a perfectly good carpet for them for free. Driving down on a Sunday was much easier.
The other big thing yesterday was Eddie messing up and getting canned from his job. It was neat to have the boys working together, but I guess things happen for a reason. Eddie had worked Saturday night til 11. Then he had a shift scheduled for 8:30 Sunday morning. I knew he was in trouble when I came down to go to the bathroom about 3:30 and he wasn't home. WHen I woke him up about 8:15, his alarm was ringing right next to him and he didnt hear it. Uh, nice. When I did finally wake him, he had that "I have no idea where I am" look. He finally looked coherent. Ed called into work I guess he the poor baby didn't feel good. I didnt feel sorry for him. No one answered, so I'm pretty sure I said, "so get up and get your sorry butt to work." He didn't and I didnt go back to keep bugging him. So... we're pretty sure he's fired. Liam is ticked to beat the band. I can understand - he works his butt of at both jobs. This makes him look bad. Eddie messed up big time. The job with Liam with tips he was making about $10/hr. A 16 year old cannot find a job that pays that anywhere. He had gotten used to having his own money and not having to ask me. AT this point, he'll be lucky if he gets $10 for a weekend rom me. Last night he said his friend Joe could get him a job at Guisseppi's. That'll be good, especially if it is soon. It's not nearly as close, but he could get a train there if I cannot take him or pick him up. Argh. Not happy with the boy.
Tomorrow, we go back to our school. We are starting our day at a breakfast palce since we cannot get into the room til after ten. I really hope there are no other major glitches. We can handle little ones. It'll be good to get in and start getting the room ready for the kids. So, today is my last summer day I guess. Looking forward to it! August 26 How manythings can you actually forget to bring with you?
Last night I made a forray to Walmart for a number of things. The 3m things you can use to hang pictures on the wall without damaging the wall, plant rooting liquid... Well I only got about ten minutes into my list and Jamie called. She forgot her cell phone charger. One of her friends was going up to her school, so could I be at the house to meet him? Sure thing. In 45 minutes? Uh...ok. It takes 15-20 minutes to drive home. So, I sped through the shopping and of course forgot a few things so I could meet him. Gave Jeremy the charger plus a chair we forgot to take up for with her desk. She seemed a little concerned I asked Jeremy to take the chair. I don't know, it just made sense to me to ask him rather than take ANOTHER trip to one of the schools.
I knew I needed to take a few things to Colleen today. Lightbulbs, a carpet remnant one of my nephews found for her, cords, her migraine medicine - hello!, a shoebox with keepsakes and some magazines. The only shoebox I found in her room has a big geode in it. I did not see her magazines, but they may be burried in her room. I ASSUMED she had spoken to my nephew before she planned on me bringing the remnant. Silly mom am I. She called me today and said that Jason is out of town so could I bring it tomorrow around 11 am? (Will he be home before that?????) Good thing I made her call. I am considering going to Big Lots and getting her a $20-$30 rug just so I can go today. My Lord.
I guess I am being overly sensitive or annoyed that they expect me to act as I usually do - drop whatever I am doing or what is on my schedule to accomodate what they need. I love 'em to pieces. There's only so much re-arranging I can do though. Maybe my hormones are just out of whack and I am more sensitive than normal. Oy. August 25 week in reviewWell, yes this week has flown by.
With starting back to work, moving Colleen and celebrating my bday, it has been a whirlwind of activity. The remainder of sessions during inserice were surprisingly good. There was only one session that regergitated things we were already doing. The last day was a mix for me. In the morning, many of the IU board members were there. Our illustrious CEO, who has actually fallen asleep during liason (negotiation) meetings gave a speech. All I wanted to do was inconspicuously start a chant of "b*ll sh*t" while he was talking. He was going on and on about how this was going to be a great year and how much they value everything we do for the students we work with and how we make the IU work! Hello?! So you value people who do muc of the grunt work including changing diapers on adult sized children's bodies and having to chase life skills kids who run away, but you lay those valued employees off and either they're out of a job or can re-apply at a starting salary? How many of the top people at the IU have been willing to take such a cut in pay? My guess - none. The last motivational speaker was a psychologist from the next county. He was alright. I liked what he ahd to say but he wasn't all that dynamic. I guess Alvi Law is a hard act to follow. He was amazing last year.
Thursday, we got to go to our schools - yay!!! Glenna had to go to the IU offices to attend the itinerant meeting. That's alright, the interpreters and Cprint people were enough to get a good start on organizing the classroom. There was only one problem. We couldn't get into the room. Initially, it was simply because none of us have the new classroom key. We pulled one of our lovely custodians from their duties and they tried. The head of the custodians tired. No luck. Well, don't ya know that the school is using all these kean laptops and needed somewhere to store some? Hey! Put them in the deaf class!!!! They don't need to get into their room!!! (and if they do, so what?!) Did anyone call us and ask? Nope! You see, IU kids are what alot of people used to call the "red-headed step child". (not that there is anything wrong with red heads or step anythings) Most of the time, the kids are all from out of the district, so often there is an underlying current of - "these kids do not belong here and are taking up space and resources that should be used for district kids." It hasn't been as obvious in the past few years, but now that legal precident is leaning to kids back in their district schools it is coming back. It sucks. So... there are only 3 people in the entire district that have a kep to this door. They will distribute the laptops Tues am. We were able to get in there to get keys out of Glenna's desk. Brian climbed over a few things to get there. We emptied the closets in our old room and put those things in a storage room next to our new room. We had to call Glenna about 20 times. That stinks, but it showed our supervisor this is going to happen. We are lovely, capable people but not certified teachers. We did what we could, then waited to go to lunch.
Lunch was nice. Our buddy Amy came out to meet us. She was a note-taker for us the last 2 years and is going back to college for another bachelors. Glenna did not make it back for lunch. She was stuck in meetings with our supervisor and one of the top muckity mucks. They are treating her shabily to say the least. What it comes down to is that she is being given a whole lotta crap in the last 2 years of a stellar teaching career. That's just bupkus. That and the last 2 years of the 4 deaf kids' high school eperience will be spent 3 periods a day in a cramped closet under the stairs of the auditorium. Not what I would want for my own child. That's what gets me the most. It is understandable that someone has to look out for the bottom line. But gawldarnnit, every one of the special ed kids in every school is someone's son or daughter. Why not treat them as you would want your own kids treated in the same situation?????
My birthday was Thursday and I am 45 now. Oy. We had the above mentioned crappy day at work, but then I got to come home to some way awesome kiddos. Jamie jumped out of the computer chair to say Happy bday!!!! She was cute. They made me a very scrumptious diner and gave me well thought out presents. Colleen made a decadent delight that was some kind of french toast and chocolate sandwhich concoction - delish! I had a very enjoyable dinner and evening. Liam will be catching up with me on Monday. He was working a double shift on Thursday.
Gotta go get some things done!!!! August 24 only one left As they're supposed to, my babies are flying from the nest one by one. Eddie is the only one here full time now. I want to cry, but I also want to cheer! It has taken alot of work and some rocky intervals here and there...and now they are well on their way. We took Colleen to her university today. So many times I thought it wasn't going to go through... and today we moved in her and her stuff. Funny but her art supplies, books she has read 100 times and tea set are as much a neccessity for her as her shower caddy and bedding. She is a unique girl. I am not at all surprised that Col would pick a diverse college in a city. I'm glad she stayed as close as Philadelphia. The surrounding neighborhood could use some serious renovations. The campus itself is very nice and security is every where you look. (and I'm sure there is more you can't see) There is no such thing as a completely safe college campus any more and Colleen is a street savy girl. She was so excited today! It was so gratifying to see her where she should be. She doesn't have all the things alot of the suburban kids arrive with but she will be okay. With the schreech to a halt we nearly had last week, we hadn't quite had the wind up and double checking if we had everything like we did with Jamie. It seems I will need to bring an extension cord, a surge protector, light bulbs and the carpet remnant from my nephew. (2 nephews are carpet installers) I'm sure one of us will remember something else I should schlep down. No problem.
The coolest part of all of this is seeing my kids support each other. Last night Jamie, Colleen and Eddie went down to Liam's house to celebrate Col going to school. Today, Jamie and Eddie were able to come with us as well as Colleen's friend, Mike. We had all stressed some about having 15 minutes to unpack the minivan and put her things on the curb, but it went exceedingly well. With everyone we had, plus a young guy from one of the fraternities helping it took about 5 minutes. Then Jamie and I went to park the van. The security people are all very helpful and directed us to an athletic center parking lot. Felt like it took about 15 minutes to walk back to Col's dorm. It was probably only ten. Our crew made short work of gettting Col's boxes and assortment of stuff into her room. She unpacked quite a bit while we were there and got her bed made.
We took a walk around campus a bit. I was amazed at how big it actually is. You cannot really tell from the major street that runs along part of it. She showed us some of the more major buildings and we walked the equalivalent of the quad where you can get a hair cut for $10 and pretty much do everything you need to. They had tables set up from different organizations and that was good to see. By then, I felt like we needed to get out of Colleen's way and let her finish setting up her room and getting acclimated. I was surprised, but it seemed like it hit Eddie the most that we will miss Colleen. He was just like - "Who am I gonna talk to when I need to talk about stuff?" That's all it took for me to start. We all hugged her individually and a great big family hug. I cried til we got back to the van.
She's fine and will continue to be. She has a great room-mate and some other friends there, plus a very good head on her shoulders. But, she's still my baby and always will be. We talked for a few minutes tonight and Colleen sounded good.
The rest of the day was driving back, finally stopping for something to eat, taking the van back, driving Jamie out to her college town, going grocery shopping with her and then driving back home. Busy & good day.
The rest of the inservices were pretty okay and our first day at our school eventful. More on that later... August 20 First day, okay!So today was our first inservice. Someone reminded me that not everyone knows what that is. Basicly, in our neck of the woods, its the first professional day for school staff. Welcome back, it's going to be a great year!!! and so on. We had a welcome from the head of special ed. She was alright, but I really actually found myself thinking..."wow, I don't think she got this job on her public speaking skills". Terribly catty of me. It may have come from my mom, Im not sure. Seems to me when a woman is in a supervisory or leadership position, she needs to sound twice as prepared and confident. There is a fine line though - think Hillary Clinton and how harsh some of her comments sound. When a man says half of that stuff, he's being a powerful leader. I don't think Mrs. Clinton quite has that balance down. Could be a lack of role models for her to emmulate.. not really sure.
Then, we had the requisite law update. A few years ago it was FIRPA or FERPA - basicly HIPPA for identifying educational info. I have to give credit where credit is due - the intermediate unit I work with was the first in this area to mention it at all. This year it was mandated reporting of child and student abuse. After a fine lunch in the ever so over priced King of Prussia Mall, we had an excellent presentation on the effects the Cochlear Implant is having on the Deaf community. This has been a very controversial subject for some time. Parents who usually have never really gotten to know a real live deaf person are trying to do their best for their son/daughter. Medicine and technology seem to be offering a cure. What we're finding is that the cochlear implant has varrying levels of success for children and there is no real clear indicator of who will truly do well with one and who will not. It's a tool, not a cure. Using any type of commnication, including sign language allows the child more chances to flourish. The signing deaf community has seen the CI as a threat. If more people are "cured" there will be less dead people and less opportunities for their community to continue to thrive. Most signing deaf adults do not see themselves as handicapped or defective and in need of being fixed. They see themselves as capable, functioning members of society who communicate differently. The presenters today are a husband and wife who have been deaf since they were a baby or small child. They had valid reasons for chosing a CI, and were met with some doubt and fear. They took time to show their deaf compadres they were still the same people. They are giving us a glimpse of how this rift can be repaired and it was a great presentation. I found myself NOT looking at my watch.
Colleen figured out her financial aid situation - yay, Col! She found a good, reputable company to approve a loan for her without a co-signer. She will be in debt when she graduates for sure, but she is going. Her ex boyfriend's step mom was nice enough to help her through the process. Step mom works at the University where Colleen is going. She told Col exactly what to say to who(m). Stepmom works in the business major building and as stepmom introduced Colleen to some co-workers, they were trying to get Colleen to change her major. The kid does pretty well presenting herself. So... we have a busy 3 days til her move on Friday. We had collected much of what she needs, but slammed on the brakes last Friday. We have a little catching up to do. I don't think either one of us is going to mind.
Friday night, well more acurately early Saturday morning, Jerry texted me. I was surprised I even heard the cell phone. We flirted back and forth and he more or less invited me to his house to "warm up". Since I had Jamie's move the next day I said no. Shoulda just went to see what happened. I ended up awake most of the night anyway. He is a puzzle to me. I've heard from him once a week since my proceedure. Go figure. August 19 some good/some ehIt's raining today. Grrr Have alot to do, and it would be nic. e to have the last day of the summer for me be gorgeous out. So much to do! It'll get done or it won't.
It's that simple. The move went well to get Jamie into her apartment. It really would have been nice to have some more bodies. I cannot imagine how Jim and Jamie feel today. I am fairly sore and I only moved VERY light things up those 3 fllors. Those two ended up moving the heavy things - which was pretty much her dresser and bed. (the bed was in a box) We left here about 2 I guess and I was home about 8:30. Jim was avle to get a truck from work, thank goodness. I think Jamie is highly grateful to her uncle. I know I am. It was a little complicated as the town has Jamie's front walk and street dug up. So, We were only able to get the truck close to the corner. She lives about 4 house in and 3 floors up. That definitely made it more of a challenge. Still, we got everything up there. Jim left, then Jamie and I put the bed together. The instructions looked pretty intimdating, but we did figure it out. It's a "mate's bed" with some drawers underneath. Jamie did not like spending the money on it, but that was only $20 more than a box spring if we had brought a frame and mattress from home. We were pretty proud of ourselves for putting it together ourselves. When we were done, we went over to a hoagie place a 1/2 a block away. It is family run and I am really glad we went in there. The mom has taken to Jamie and is very sweet. Jamie is a perfectly capable young lady, but I feel better knowing she has met these people and they have taken a shine to her. When I spoke to J this afternoon, she said she has worked on a few things and feels like she is settling in. I'm happy for her and proud she is doing well.
Colleen's college beginnings are not going nearly as well. When she applied last Spring, she was looking for the best school so could find. American was in consideration. The $38K a yr price tag made it out of reach even with financial aid. She chose one of the larger schools in Philadelhia. It is more expensive than a state school, but I thought it would be okay. We FINALLY got some numbers on Friday. (even though our first payment is due THIS Thurs) Hello, there is going to be about $5000 per SEMESTER we have to pay!!!!! Holey moley batman! I'd like to know where in the heck I'm supposed to pull that out of! So.... I have to call them back and see how much her financial aid will be effected if she communtes. IF it is not significantly effected, she can commute. If it is, she cannot got there. I feel like the biggest schmuck ever. We cannot find a co-signer for her to take out another loan as I had already asked my bro and sis. Bro co-signed for Jamie and sis has about as bad a credit history as I do. I asked her godmother, and they are in a bind right now. It would not be good for them financially to do that. I can understand. So.... I have to call fa again tomorrow during my lunch break and find out the latest. Col is mad as heck with me because I had made a mistake on her FAFSA and it ended up being late. Apparently I just suck at everything. Part of this mess is Col wanting to go to a "better" school, part is my messing up and part is the school. Jamie's FAFSA was late as well, but her fa is fine. I would just like a couple/$10000 or so to fall outta the sky. It also would have helped if I could have worked this summer and if my darlin Col had save even a little money.
Back to work tomorrow. We will have three days inservice and then a day at our schools this week. Next week, three days at the school as well. I'm not looking forward to this week's inservices. The IU is being so $$$ conscious and doing whatever back stabbing thing they think they have to to the non union people, I think I'm going to have to fight the urge to hurl when they tell us how much they value each and every one of us. We saw the new classroom on Friday. It wasn't as bad as I thought. Space will be tight, but I think it is do-able. We're not in the center part of the school, which I think isolates the kids more. Glenna is only allowed there 40% of the time. Yeah. The teacher of record is only there less than 1/2 the time AND no asistant. Ugh. It will be up to me and the other 2 interpreters to pick up the slack. We can and will do it for Glenna and the kids. It just aint right. Three of the four are out of district and the IU really thinks the district will take full responsibility for the kids. (ie if there is a lock down, emergency dismissal, etc) That's just not reality. We ar elucky to even have a room when most schools around here are tight for space. To ask a school to accept more responsibility for out of district kids just isn't practical. Oh, and they would not pay Glenna to go in and do the scheduling for the kids. So our supervisor did it and she just doesn't have a clue. Should be interetsing. Still, I am looking forward tot seeing the kids and my coworkers and am happy to still have a job. I do see that we need to get on becoming unionized as soon as possible.
Need to get my grovery shopping down and something faxed for Col's financial aid. August 18 moving Rollin' rollin' rollin', keep those doggies rollin'.... moving Miss Jamie to her college apartment today. Should be fun. Only bummer is that I cannot lift all that much. Much drama in other parts of my life.
More later.. have to go strecth and get ready! August 15 "normal" The past few days, I have felt "normal" again. About the only time I feel any kind of reminder of the uterine artery embolization is when I laugh really hard and it hurts just a little above where they entered the artery. I have been walking, and hope to get to the YMCA to do some light laps in the pool soon. It feels like if I include exercis back in, my body will feel more right. I have been visualizing the fibroid shrinking... it may be hooey but I'm doing it.
On Friday, we may be meeting for lunch and then going over to work to look at our new classroom. Glenna had told me we were moving, but I didn't know was that all the classroom stuff has already been moved. I guess one of the head muckity mucks decided we didnt need much space for 4 deaf kids, so they had the custodians move everything to the new, smaller room. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude about this. We have no assistant this year, plus Glenna will only be in the building half day and the rest of the day she will be going out to other schools to provide hearing imapaired kids some academic support. Somehow, we will get everything from the bigger room into the smaller room organized and running before the kids come. More than likely, everything was just dumped into the middle of the new room. Had we known we were moving things could have been packed in an organized fashion. Ah, but I am lamenting what could have been. I am very much looking forward to seeing my lovely co-workers and of course the kiddos. I have missed them, and I bet they all come back an inch taller and worlds wiser.
Jamie moves into her apartment on Saturday. We are going out tonight to meassure and (mostly she) will do a little cleaning. I am excited for her. She has gotten together a nice mix of thrift store, garage sale and discount store things to augment what she's collected the last 2 years when she was in a dorm. We had fun shopping for things, and I even found some cassettes I can listen to when driving to/from her school. She is excited and nervous all at the same time. I will miss her, but am so glad she is doing so many things. I had thought she nixed the rugby idea, but last night she was talking about it again so it is a go.
Colleen went into the city to her school yesterday. She applied for a job or two and checked out the computer lab. Apparently it is well stocked and current. She was thrilled with the Power Macs or something and relieved with what they have since we still havent been able to get her a computer. Then she went over to financial aid and the you know what hit the fan. I offered to go with her and should not have taken her no. The goof that spoke with her told her that since there was never any student signature on the FAFSA, it was never processed and she only has about $2000 in aid and the rest would have to be covered by us. So, we have until Aug 23 to pay about $2200 or her schedule will be wiped. He also said there was nothing else she could do as all of the aid has been distributed. Colleen called me from outside the building. Her friend Mike from her band was there, and he was a little taken aback when she came out sobbing and saying she would never work for Newsweek & all of her dreams were over. When she told me there was no student signature I felt like I would get sick. I know I was extra careful because of the mistakes I have made in the past. I called the FAFSA number, and the woman on the other end was wonderful. She said while she did note that Colleen's file was under review (colleges pull roughly 1/3 of the financial aid applications for a review) she saw nothing theat indicated there was no FAFSA processed. She told me the transaction number, the date it was processed and the EFC number. There would be no EFC or any loans approved if the FAFSA had not been complete. WHEW!!!! So, I called the financial aid office which was closed then emailed them the info the FAFSA lady had given me. My goodness, what if a kid did not have someone that would call and challenge a mistake like that? I will have to call again this morning and be on their tails until we get this straightened out. It's always something!
Had a bad missing Jerry day yesterday. I guess him checking on me and hearing is voice Saturday night got the wheels turning in my head. I am not calling or making contact... am staying as aloof as I can be. Anything else would probably spook him out of even remaining friends. I am thinking that moving the girls, getting Eddie ready for school and going back to work will keep me busy and reduce the thinking time. That may be a very good thing.
For now, laundry is calling! August 14 Sometimes I wish I wereAl Pacino
Remeber that movie where he goes off in court, "This whole court it out of order!" and he rants and raves about all injustices? There are times I wish I could do that just once. Of course, then I would probably be in jail, but hey it might be worth it! Bill had another contempt hearing. This one stemmed from the fact that he was ordered to pay about $900 in child support at the last contempt hearing, and he chose to send one payment of $109. I trooped myself down there. Norristown is not that dar awawy, it's just a pain to have to go down there in the middle of the day. After going throuhg the put your keys and cell in the tupperware and everything else you have on the x ray conveyer and filling out the same form I did last month, I sit and wait. The hearing officer knows me now. (that's part of why I go - so he has a face for my case number) he ushers me back to his office. Bill was a no show. Mr Clarke had called Bill's PO. The PO said Bill wasn't coming. No explanation at all, he's just not coming. So, the man has 10 days to cough up some dough or there will be a bench warrant. I'm pretty sure he knows this. He has plans to go to Dorney Park TODAY. He can be in PA and even pulled over and the warrant won't appear for 9 more days. Oh, but if he does get pulled over, he will probably be dragged into a station as his liscence is suspended. I really don't get this person. So... the only new info I have is the PO said Bill got the job at NYC DEP. I will believe it when /if a see a wage attachment go through. I was assuming he lied about that as he was fired from there in 1995 or so. It would probably be good for both families if it really goes through.
Jamie and I had another fight about money and such. I truly understand her feelings, as I did royally mess up. I cannot imagine my own mom doing what I did. I wish I could undo things and make everything right. Things are a little stressed right now as we count down and do the last few things before the girls go to college. There is alot to do, and Colleen's is very much in limbo as we're not sure her financial aid will get us where we can afford the tuition payments. It stinks that the FA office is taking this long to get everything done. She has 12 days til she is suppposed to be moving in! Argh.
My babies have almost all flown out of the nest. It's so weird. I have been a mom more than half of my life and my life has been geared around the kids. How strange will it be when Eddie goes? But, this is ewactly what they're supposed to be doing and I am enormously proud of every one. My kids are exceptionally good people. They are each intelligent, caring people with a good sense of the world. I could crow about them all day.
Today is a beautiful day! August 12 apples & grapes  Saw this on another site I frequent and thought some may get a kick out of it:
Women are like apples on a tree Ok, so it does bash men a bit. Guess I'm just feeling a little light hearted and yet man-cautious. My proceedure was Aug 2. On Aug 4th, Jerry texted me saying he hoped I was doing well and not in too much pain. Last night, he called to check on me. We chatted for about 5-10 minutes. It was nice to hear his voice. Earlier in the day I was chastiszing myself for missing him. I didn't call him between the text and his call. I am sesitive to not contacting him too much, and am giving myself some time to just be. As far as Jerry goes, I don't know. For now, I am assuming he is just being a friend in checking on me. Time will tell if it is anything else. I'm not obsessing or projecting what I want onto little things. (at least that's the plan!)
Jamie and I went out shoppping for things she needs for her apartment. It was fun and she is getting excited about it. The move will be a challenge. She is on the 3rd floor and there is no elevator. We're supposed to go out tomorrow night and clean a bit so her room is ready for the move on Saturday. IT'S COMING UP SO FAST!!!
Colleen's whole college plan is in limbo. Her financial aid STILL isn't done and she is to move into her dorm Aug. 24th. If enough aid doesnt go through, she will not be able to go to this school. I'd hate for that to happen, but I cannot make the payments based on her bill now and neither can she.
Their grandparents on their dad's side send money to Jamie every so often. Jamie has been in contact with her dad and his side of the family since her freshman year. Colleen does not have contact w/ her dad and does not want any. I really hope they are kind and sensible enough to send her something every once in a while. We'll see.
Bill has another contempt hearing tomorrow. I'm not really looking forward to it and have alot of other things I could/should be doing. I'm going. At the very least, I'm curious as to why he has only sent one payment since the last hearing. He and his new family are due to go to Dorney Park the following day. May be interesting.
August 10 child support? ha! Yesterday I called Bill's hearing officer. The one who presided over the contempt hearing in July and will on Monday. The secretary told me they had heard nothing from Billy boy so the hearing for Monday was still on. Great. I'm not all that thrilled about going, but feel like I should be there.
Today, I see an email from the PA system letting me know there is a payment. At the last contempt hearing, Bill said he could send about $100/week with his current situation. The order was that he had to come up with one month's worth by today. That should be about $895. I was SILLY enough to think - "Oh, maybe this will cover one of the girls' books for college." The payment was $109. The total for the month - $109. We can get one book with that.
Sometimes, I truly just want to throttle this man. He has no friggin idea. How is any kind of good conscious do you have one set of 4 kids, marry into 2 then add 2 more when you can't even support the first four?
The only thing that is keeping me sane right now is that I know that some how some way, we'll get through this. We always have. The Fall semester in starting soon, and I am hoping one of the agencies will set me up with a college evening class. I don't get Bill and probably never will.
Last night, Liam his girlfreind Michelle and I went out to Subway for dinner. We all had a nice time. I have missed Liam and I think he felt bad not coming by after my proceedure. The kiddo has been working crazy hours at both jobs. Michelle and Liam are really cute together. Colleen has told me that she's really funny, but she is still pretty quiet around me. Guess it can be nerve wracking being around your boyfriend's mom. Liam made me laugh so many timeswhile we ate. He is sooo funny and I guess I had forgotten that. He's working hard and I am proud of him for that. We reminised about alot of the silly things they all did when they were little. Even talked about the time he got in major trouble and was sent to bootcamp. I have to say, he sees where what he did was really wrong and stupid and can even see that going through everything has helped him become a better man. I had always felt guilty that I could not afford a "real" lawyer. Most of the kids that were there had had public defenders. Liam can see (6 years later) that he needed that shock to pull him out of the spiral he was in at the time. I love my baby boy. 22 and way taller than me, but he will always be my baby.
Eddie is almost done his training. He and Liam worked the same shift the other night. I think Liam likes helping him out getting the job and learning it. They don't see each other all that much as Eddie is bussing and Liam is one of the expediters. Still, it's cool that they are there togther. I know Liam busts his butt when he works and I think Eddie will as well once he gets the hang of it. I kinda wish that restaurant wasn't so fruu fruu so I could go once and see them work together. No way I could afford it right now. Oh well. I'm glad they both are working and happy.
I called a guy I was in marching band with in high school last Tuesday. I was bored outta my mind and couldn't read another book or watch another dvd. I had seen Andy at the grocery store back in April or May and we chatted for quite a while. At that time he had invited me to stop by any time. I had driven by a few times during errand runs but had never seen his car. So, we just had a good chat again on Tues and caught up a bit. He made the same offer, and I may go by this weekend. Not looking for a hot and heavy relaionship, but it has halped me not think about Jerry as much. Am finding that I can see where things were not all that healthy in some of our behavoirs and can appreciate that it's better that we're just friends now. It does still hurt, though. At least I can see that I am going to be okay.
My recovery still is going well. I feel pretty normal, whatever that is, and can do a little more each day. I had thought I had a 3 day period earlier this week, but am pretty sure the period is happening now. It's not as light as I would like it to be and I'm kind of ticked that I cannot go over to Robin's and take a dip in her pool. My follow-up visit was Weds. It was nice to see the doc and all the staff when I was clear headed and relaxed. They are all so nice and did a fantastic job. It seems that I had the steroid pack as part of the study I was in because I did so well right after the proceedure. Now I just have to wait a few months to see how much the firboid shrinks. I'm hoping for at least by 40%. Yesterday when Colleen and I were shopping, I went by the sporting goods section. I wanted to see exactly how big a basball is. Gotta say I was surprised. I guess I shouldn't have been as my regular doc told me my uterus was about the size of a 12 week pregnancy, but it was a shock to see in 3d how large the fibroid had been. I am very happy that I finally had this done and grateful I still had my medical insurance.
The day is calling.  August 09 never a dull momentFound out yesterday that the interpreter with less seniority than me (who would therefore be laid off before me) resigned. While I can understand her reasoning, this puts me in a less stable situation. I have known this is a possiblity for a while, but denial can be a good place to be. The IU MIGHT hire someone to replace her for the school year or (more likely) have all of us make do and cover schedules as best we can. This will only be okay IF we can cover the kids' schedules and IEP needs or if we cannot the parents do not catch on. I almost wish they would.
Only the teachers and "professional" staff are union. As a group, the interpreters looked into it a few years ago but the assistants' liason was not that interested so we could not go on. Well, now it is biting us ALL in the butt. The early intervention assistants were all "let go" at the end of the school year last June. They can all re-apply for those positions as if they had NO experience and will be paid accordingly and there will be NO BENEFITS. Now, if you have spent any time in a school, particularly with special ed kids, you know that teaching assistants do a crap load worth of work. Without them most teachers would not be able to function very well and for special ed teachers you can forget about much education happeneing without them.
Our agency has chosen to throw the people who do excellent work under the bus. The districts are all yelling about costs costs costs and are being rated by how many of their special ed students are being sent out of district for services. If the kids are in district by how many hours they are out in the mainstream. Here in PA this is a direct result of the Gaskin ruling. From what I understand, the parents wanted their child in the home school in mainstream classes for SOCIALIZATION. To me that equates to plopping a kid in a mainstream class regardless of their academic background or talents. WTHeck. Far better for Johnny or Susie to respond to a prompt during Algebra and touch an abcacus than stay in a self contained class and learn how to buy an ice cream without getting riped off when getting your change. Yep.
If a child is "just" deaf, usually he/she can handle a mainstream class with support. More and more the academic support is being removed or is being thrust on personnel with less and less time to get everything done. Just as there is a limit to how many widgets can be made when lay offs occur, there is only so much you can do with a very limited amount of time. And we're not talking about a product... we're talking about children and an appropriate education.
I am the FIRST one to yell and scream when a kid is excluded from something they can handle or are being challenged to do because he/she is ready for it or the team and parents have decided together that it's the right thing. Too many school systems are terrified of parents and going to court. I'm sure the parents are trying to do their best for the kids. There comes a time when you have to be upfront and say what is best. Unfortunately, no one wants to hear that maybe your son/daughter isn't best served telling them they will go to college... maybe a training school or workshop would be better. Nope... everyone has to go to college! None of the kids are dumb - the kids being placed in classes where they cannot handle the work and the kids who can know the difference. There are other opportunities within a school community for socialization and I have seen it work. Meanwhile the kids are suffering.
I cannot wait til the pendulum swings back a little. August 08 Enough With the Mommy Wars, Already!
Read this while doing my morning surfing. Interesting. I have always thought that we oughta stop with the judging one another and started with the supporting one another. Then again, when a militant stay-at-home or my kids-never-watch-Rug Rats mom gets in my face about what I'm doing/did wrong raising my kids I usually want to bash their nose in. That or ask them to walk 100 yards in my moccasins. Anyway... read and enjoy.
Quote Enough With the Mommy Wars, Already! - Newsweek Society - MSNBC.com August 07 sleep! My Kingdom for some sleep!!! All day yesterday, well okay the second half of the day, I was not feeling well. Probably my own darn fault for trying to do too much. By doing too much I mean going to Barnes and Noble and not asking for help right away, then to A C Moore and trying to find some organizers for mail as it comes into the house. Ended up sitting in my car thinking, "Okay I feel like crap and I am sitting in a parking lot... now what do I do?" Luckily for me, A C Moore is close to where Jamie works. It did not feel good, but I went there and sat in her office while she finished work. (about 15-20 minutes) Everyone was very nice there, but I felt odd having to sit there. However - it got me to where I felt better physically and it was cool. There was no way I could have sat out in the heat in the car.
On a more positive note post UFE: I think I had a three day period. How crazy is that? I don;t think that has happened to me since I was about 13!
The rest of the day I took it easy. The proceedure and recovery time after have given me (forced me to) the opportunity to catch up on reading and dvds. First, I read Harry Potter; the Deathly Hallows then The Mermaid Chair. Both were extremely good books in very different ways. I wish the second had been able to have the main characeter have the epithonies she did without having to cheat. Maybe I am still naive, but I don't get why so many media feel the need to make their characters cheat. Can we not have personal growth without sinking to such lows? I have seen Pride, Stranger than Fiction, Premonition and Dream Girls. I have enjoyed all of the dvds but was a little disappointed with Premonition. I usually really really like Sandra Bullock movies. Dream Girls blew me away.
I went upstairs thinking since I hadn't been feeling well all day it would be easy to fall asleep. Ha - silly, silly me! I think I finally fell asleep around 4:30 or so.
During the time I couldn't sleep I made some lists, wrote in my hard copy journal, tired to make a granny square and sketched. I think the drawing had to do with reading The Mermaid Chair. Whatever the reason, I'll take it. My sketches revolved around an incident of spousal sexual abuse. So far, I think they have been very effective ways of exorcising some of my demons related to the abuse. Even though I am exhausted today, I think it was well worth it. Baby steppin'!
I hope to get some of my list done today without suffering health wise. Rationally, I know I need to continue to rest and it will benefit me in the long run. Practically I look at the pile of dishes and laundry as well as everything we need to do before school starts and I don't know if I CAN rest. Maybe that was part of the insomnia last night. August 06 Every dayI feel a little better than I did yesterday. Yesterday I woke up feeling great. Knew that I had to reign that to a point where I did not over-do things and put myself a few steps back in getting better. I'm so glad I had this done during the summer so I could rest enough and truly recover before going back to work. That is a blessing I am very thankful for. The last time I took a percocet was early Saturday morning. My pain has not been too bad. I am still taking the prescription strength Motrin though, I guess I am too chicken to be totally off pain meds. My big outting yesterday was going grocery shopping with Jamie and Colleen. They put pretty mcuh everything into the cart for me then loaded and unloaded everything when we paid and got home. Sometimes they crack me up. We all have fun together. The girls goofed around throughout the store. It was funny to see how some of the other shoppers would react. Some smiled, some turned around and went to a different aisle. I feel bad for them that they would not allow themselves a minute or two just to be happy.
Lynssy - I have been trying to comment on your blog, but so far have had no luck loggin on. I had an accunt before but will keep trying to make it work. In the meantime - keep doing what your doing and enjoy the ride.
Not all that much to say today. Enjoy. August 05 what I learned today Well I wish I could say I learned some fabulous pearl of wisdom that will help me in my life's journey. Nope. What I learned today is that is you post a blog entry on a particular subject, the loonies can come out of the woodwork and dispell, no squash any good feelings you have had about something you have done that should be VERY positive in your life.
Blogging about my fibroid is done primarily to help me sort through the entire process. Since August, 2005 when I found out I had it, I have deligently found out as much information as possible about fibroids and their treatment. My life was at such a place in Feb 2007 that I had to seek treatment. It has taken 6 months tand at least 5 referrals to get it done. Uterine Fibroid Embolization is the best treatment I could find for ME. Eveyone's situation is different. The more you educate yourself, the better off you will be. When you are looking at hundreds of web sites, make sure you are also looking at how dependable the information is. There are plenty of sites run by medical professionals who know what they are talking about. You can search your doctor and hospital's names and see if they have had any complaints filed against them. While you are there, ask how many proceedures they have performmed and what their success/failure rate is. I had been surprised at how simply the proceedure was explained to patients. While I understand that not everyone learns at the same rate, I was shocked that a woman would go in for a consultation and need to have the proceedure explained and story boarded. How would you be setting up apointments without knowing what the proceedure involved?
To the lovely Ms Coffey-your comment was unsolicited and unwanted. I investigated different proceedures available to me and picked the one that fit my problem and my life the best. I knew the possible complications of all of the treatments and still chose UFE. Your comment was too late, and I had read the information on your website as well. Obviously, your approach was not my choice. Please leave me alone.
At the very least, I know now that women searching for info about fibroids can find my site. Perhaps they will get some balanced information here. If that helps even one other woman, I am happy.
August 04 Take that, Fibroid!Ha! Uterine fibroids don't stand a chance against modern medicine! Ok, so maybe I am over-stating how I feel about the whole thing. I was soooooo nervous about having the UFE (Uterine fibroid embolization) done I had myself all in a tizzy about it. Nothing all that new that that happened. That's pretty standard fare for me.
It kind stunk having to be there by 7am. Colleen and I had to leave by 6:30, and neither of us is much of a morning person. The check in proceedure wasn't bad, other than me not really understanding that I was supposed to wait in the radiology waiting area not the receptiony waiting area. They got the IV in on the second try. The catheter - ick is all I want to say on that subject. I hope I do not have to have another one for a very long time.
Everyone was very patient and kind to me. I liked my doctor and the nurses and other staff who were there. You get to pick the music they play, and I think the one guy fancies himself the mix-master. He seemed pleased with what he picked out for me. Thanks to Adavan, the only thing I remember in the room was putting my arms into thses gaurd looking things and having my groin area cleaned with VERY cold alcohol. I was afraid I would feel the novacaine injections but never did. Next thing I knew, the dr was telling me that everything went very well. The fibroid was about 6 cms or the size of a baseball.
The recovery staff was just as nice as the UFE staff. I did not have any pain. Course I was pretty doped up so I may not have noticed much of anything. Colleen and Robin came to the room shortly after I woke up. They were both very sweet. I was surprised that I had to lay flat the rest to the afternoon. I had a nice lunch that I nibbled on through the afternoon. I was hungry but didn't want to push it. Many patients have nausia afterward. I really did not have any pain until later last night. Even then, it was only some mild cramping.
The kids have been pretty good. The first night they took turns waking me up to take my medicine. They have been very sweet and attentive. I have to tell them all what I need them to do today - trash, dishes, etc.
This morning I was hungry so I made banana bread. That probably would have been fine, but then I did dishes for about ten minutes. Guess I over-did it cuz the cramping came back. I had wanted to stop the Percocet type pain releaver today but may wait until later tonight.
If you have uterine fibroids and are looking for treatment, so far I cannot say enough about uterine artery embolization. I am only 2 days out now, but I think it was a very good decision for me.
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