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March 30 Spring Break, Baby!
Woohoo! I'm lovin' this. I know my "real job" friends may not appreciate my enthusiam and for this I am sorry. But, oh yeah... a week off!!!!!!! I love it. Seemed like evreyone was ready - kids, staff, everybody. Even the most up-beat teachers I work with have been dragging. I will very much enjoy not getting up too too early, although Mon-Weds I have to wake up to be sure Eddie and Colleen are up and moving. What do I have planned? Monday I am cooking Lasagna and getting a 6 pack for Jerry and his rrom-mate. They are fixing my car again. This time it is an exhaust system. The guys putting it in will save me $1400. I took the car in for inspection to a guy Jerry and I went to hs with. I had expected at least $800, but not 1798+! So... after telling me where to take the car (I had asked), and calling the guy the day before, he spent most of the day Tues calling around for a better price. He hadn't really wanted to have to fix the exhaust system - apparently it is a bear and sometimes the bolts can be difficult to get off. He then stopped by and showed me the receipt for the parts. (I really would have believed him about the price) then, he stopped by the next day as well. When I found out the original higher price, I was kind of freaking out. Jerry was very sweet talking to me even when I was upset. Yes, he has scored some brownie points. It's his bday today. I can call him an old man for the next 5 months. (then I catch up in age) I sent him something a little naughty (a pantygram) I wasnt really sure about it, but I didn't want to make a fuss as he gets kind of weird around holidays and such. A couple of times he has hinted that he would like me to wear certain unmentionables. Well, don't ya know there is a website to send your guy something a little naughty with a messege? Yep. I was busting on him and yes wanted to fluster him a little and it seems it worked. He called after getting the package and was laughing and a bit flustered. Mission accomplished. Now, when Colleen finally gets home with my car I will run him up the apple pie I made him and the low key gift I got him. (Polo shirts - he looks very nice in them) Work is fine. The kids had an inservice day, so we all went out to lunch. The food was pretty darn good and we all enjoyed each other's company. Our lead teacher paid for all of us. She usually does this near the end of the year. Funny, but as we are becoming more aware that this may be the last year we are all together with the stupid lay offs, we are revelling in just being together. Old grudges are not so important and we even seem to like the quirks that used to make us a little crazy. Going to jump in the shower. March 25 ah, Sunday
Hooray, we're due for some sun today. I guess it really hasn't been raining all that long, but long enough to get to me. I'm a big wimp. Still, being Sunday feels pretty good. We had a workshop yesterday 9-4, so it almost didn't feel like a day off. The workshop was great. It was "Interpreting in Law Enforcement". I went with three interpreters from work, and it was held at the Philadelphia Police Academy. Basicly, we learned about processes within the legal system. We learned about things that we can do to define our role to police officers and personnel in the justice system in such a way that they understand, we are able to most effectively do our jobs and the system comes closer to being accessible to everyone. The presentors showed us dvds of actors signing testimony/interrogations from deaf victims, witnesses and defendants. It is interesting that we had applied to the IU to take flex time for having attended the workshop (taking a day off in exchange for having gone for professional development) and were truned down. Even though we had to opt for an inservice day - when there are no students and there would not have to be a sub hired - they said it was not applicable to our jobs. They read the blurb and 2 descriptions of classes we have at the hs - business and personal law and current issues and came to the conclusion that the workshop would lead to us being trained to interpret in court. (which requires many more hours of training) Uh, yeah no. Well, one of the things that was empahsized was domestic abuse and sexual abuse and it was noted that deaf kids are 2-5x more likey to be sexually abused. We also discuss situations where the kids may need an interpreter once they leave the k-12 setting. Before the kids graduate, we discuss how to request an interpreter. So many things were brought up during the day that set off alarm bells with me. We are zeroxing the packet we got, I am hgighlighting the info the applies to the kids and re-sending it. If they want to turn it down again, shame on them. The workshop was extrmemly informative. I can see myself working as a process interpreter (for court proceedings) but I am not sure about for POlice interrogations and so forth. As empathetic as I am, I think interpreting alot of the content - especially with kids and women - it would take too much of a toll on me. Maybe if I had the right training, I would think differently. We'll see. No word from Jerry this weekend. He had called back Friday night when I left a messege about Eddie... basicly i wanted him to remind me about guys just doing stupid things when teens. Seems if I need something or am upset, he gets right back to me. I don't get that he isn't keen on actually seeing each other. I don't get it and really don't feel like trying to figure it out right now. Guess I am more tired than I thought or maybe just getting more realistic. Who knows. Today, I get to go out to Jamie's school to see her concert at 3:00. She is really excited about it, they are doign a difficult piece that she loves singing. That will be a nice way to finish off the weekend. Then groceries and laundry - joy, joy. March 20 after the sleet comes the Spring?Well, we have had temps above 32 enough that the sleet/snow crap is melting. This is making my happy. I was getting paranoid I would get a ticket from the borough, as we were not able to get this stuff off the sidewalks. I really did try. Most of the people in this area tried and I noticed that not all that many sidewalks were actually all cleared. Whew, for now.
Who knew 48 degrees would feel this good. It is supposed to be colder tonight and tomrrow, then warming up for at least the next. Sometimes I think good ole Mother Nature likes to toy with us.
Jamie is back at school. She is starting to feel better. I guess being home and sleeping alot has helped. It was kind of crappy she did not get to enjoy her Spring break. AH well.... maybe summer will be better for her.
Jerry's mode of operation when something is bothering him/he is working out something is to become a hermit. That's all good, I guess... although it does kind of drive me batty. It seems he has kept himself from contacting me all that much as he knows there was a bunch of stuff going on the last few weeks. (the threat of a layoff, jamie being sick, etc...) So, I guess he figured he was giving me time to myself. Finally, I let him know that while I am tyring to understand his need to be alone when he needs it, that may not be the best thing for me. Today, I left him a messege asking where to take my car for inspection and what to do to keep my screen door from going past a right angle.... the man calls me within 2.5 hours. Alrighty, so I guess if I want contact, I need to think of things for him to help me out with. One of Jamie's friends joined Jerry's motorcycle club... apparently the president told him my biker chick nic name... uh I didn't know I had one. This past weekend, Jster calls during the wee hours Friday and Saturday night. If I could just get him to do that at a reasonable hour and want to see me, then - great. Maybe he is part vampire. Maybe we are just at a weird transition time. Time indeed will tell.
I had been putting off my car inspection, as $$$ was looking grim. I got word this week finally that the probation officer for Bill changed. He has a new one now, who apparently wasn't up to speed on what he was supposed to be doing. (looking for a job, perhaps!) The new one has gotten herself into gear, and Lumpy has a new job. A dispatcher at a limo/taxi company. Part time of course.... we wouldn't want to make too much money to support his first, step or new family. (or to endanger his stepsons' social security disability and food stamps)
Funny, ok so maybe not funny per se, I finally do not feel so angry with Bill. Now I feel more sorry for him and how badly he has screwed up. You reap what you sow and he has sown pretty badly when it comes to our kids and many of his close relationships. He has missed most of the kids' childhood and all of the wonderful strides they have made. I will never let him off the hook for his responsibility to them and if I am mad at him in the future it will be for mistreating them, his stepsons or his and Diedre's new baby. Other than that, I have little left to feel for him.
Speaking of how awesome the kiddos are... I picked up Colleen from the train station yesterday. She had attended the Peter Jenning's Journalism Project Saturday, Sunday and Monday. While she was completely exhausted, she had to tell me as much as she could about it. They had all kinds of seminars, receptions, meetings, discussions and debates. She netorked like crazy... has business cards from Ted Kopple, an editor at the NO Times Picayne, someone from ABC News' NY office, a legal professor from USC with an offer for help if she ever wants to transfer there, another editor from a paper in Chicago and a "talking head" that I don't know where she is from, among others. I asked if they gave business cards to all of the students and she said no. Colleen also has 3 paid internship offers for this summer. 2 are at the Constitution Center and one at the New Oreleans paper with an offer to fly her out there. I tried to convey to her that it is because she is such an awesome person. (let alone for a hs senior) and she deflected it saying that she just knows how to schmooze. I don't think so. I willl have to keep telling her untill she believes it.
She also got a glimpse at forner President Clinton as he was passing through to go to one of the receptions. Hey, for me just being in the Constitution Center for 3 days would be terriffic. The kids also got 2 beautful boooks - one the last Peter Jennings book and the other on Journalism and the Constitution. There was a presentation by his wife during the conference. Colleen was veyr touched by that and thinks she is a wonderful woman. They also got a dvd designed for principals and editors of school newspapers and the first ammendment and another about media in hs publications. Col probably could have helped author the media one. There was another one I could not remember. Colleen is astounded when other kids do not know things she considers 2nd nature. The kids were told to hurry to one of the lobbies to have their picture taken with a broadcast journalist. Some of the "bubblehead" girls had no idea who George Stephanopolus (sp?) is. I can picture Col trying not to bop them over the head. She got to see a debate by 2 Congressmen - one of which was Barney Frank. She actually critiqued him for me. (apparently sarcasm is not supposed to be one of your primary debating tools)
The girlie was alseep by 5:15 yesterday evening and slept until she had to get up for school this morning.
Obviously, I am proud of her. She is an amazing girl. Sometimes, I wonder how it is that she is my daughter. Then again, I can say that about each of the kids. They all have their flaws and stumbles, but each one amazes me with his/her talent and how wonderful they are. Could it be that we all have this light - something fantastic to share with the world - and time and toils makes us forget? That stinks, but what a blessing if you can use even a little of those gifts.
Gotta go do boring errands and pick up some necessities. (the bare necessities?) Better do it before I run out of gas. (as in energy) March 16 Sleet!
Two days ago it was 75 degree temps... no coat and feeling like Spring. Today, not so much. It started getting colder yesterday after the rain went through and the temps dropped 30 degrees. This morning it started raining/sleeting/snowing but mostly sleeting all day. It took me a half hour to get home when normally it should take 15ish. My car is being slowing but surely covered in ice. Oh joy. Yesterday was D-day for those of us at the IU. 2 interpreters I know fairly well got a call that they will be laid off at the end of this year. I am now second from the bottom of the seniorty list. (meaning there are four with more seniority and one with less left) So, I can breath a sigh of relief for NOW. There will be a second wave in about 4-6 weeks and then possibly another lay off during the summer. It all comes down to money - the districts are now limited to increasing their budgets by 3.4%, If they need a larger increase, it has to be apporved by the local voters. AS a regional service provider, our services are often more expensive than what districts think they can provide. They usually hire less qualified personnell at less money. Also, PA had a decision in the past 1-2 years where it was decided that placing a student outside their home district for services was automatically a "more restrictive environment" regardless of the disability. For deaf kids, if they are placed in their home dist, it may mean they are the only signing deaf kid in a school of 1300-3100. To me that is more restrictive, but hey why would they ever listen to me... better to make a blanket rule for all spec ed kids!!!!! Additionally, the state is rating dists according to # of special ed students sent out of district and hours spec ed student spend in the mainstream. Sending too many out of district or keeping them in a resource/self contained classroom, etc and there may be monetary consequences. My friend sitting next to me has a deaf son. (an adult now) She was aghast that this is how spec ed is going right now and wonders what she would have done if her son was school age now. I hope there are some very vocal parents who will yell loud and long to keep their children in appropriate settings. For now I will enjoy the setting we have and try not to worry too much. Colleen goes to the Peter Jennings Journalism Project (conference) at the Constitution Center tomorrow thru Monday. She is finally excited about it. I think we have all the stuff she needs. They are springing for a hotel room and dinners for the kids, but she will need train fare, walking around money, etc. We went out Weds night to get maybe 2 pair of pants and a top or two that looked business like. We went to Target and spent about $90 on one pair of pants, a skirt and about 2 tops. Argh!! We didn't even think about going to Walmart untill we were done and I was bushed. Oh well, it will be worth it for her. Not much else new here. Hoping to be able to get out and about tomrrow. March 10 nothing like not knowingWell, we have still not really heard anything about the re-structuring. The IU has been true to form. Everything is hush-hush and if you question anything you are a bad person. About 2 years ago, we looked into the process of becoming unionized. At the time, it didn't seem as imperative as it does now. We had foudn out that the teaching assistants and job coaches would have to join us for us to have kind of power at all. No one was willing or able at the time to devote the time it would take. The TAs were historically second income people who were happy to have the extra, even if it was pretty low wages. (especially when you look at what alot of them do... bilingual skills needed when working w/ deaf kids, a dif skill set for working w/ autistic kids, life skills kis, kids in wheelchairs with feeding tubes, etc) There was a mind set whenever we re-negotiated our "agreements" that the TAs were always happy to get whatever the IU was willling to give us.
FF to now. Because of laws inplace that require schools to ask the tax payers when they need an increase over about 3.7%, many schools are tightening their budgets. Add to the a recent ruling where the parents sued and won and the emphasisi is becoming more and more toward putting kids into a reg ed classroom. No resource room or self contained classrooms period.
So the new news on the lay offs is... no one that I know has been contacted about being laid off - and everyone is suppsoed ot be before this coming Thursday. Also, we have been asking for a seniority list and have been told that they cannot release that as it would be a violation of HIPPA laws. Huh? We had askied for that as the head of personnell had told out liason that any furloughs would be done on a seniority basis. Our liason clearly remembers being told that to her face. Now they are saying that there are different criteria that will only be released AFTER the March 15ht meeting. In other words, they are going to screw us untill the very last day that we work, and maybe even after.
Jamie is home for her Spring break. She has mono AGAIN and it is pretty bad this time. STinks for her, but I can baby her now that she is home. Plus, she can just sleep if she needs it this week, without having to worry about school work or work.
Jerry has called every day since Weds. Ok, who flipped the switch? I would like to see him just cuz I miss him, and maybe he will shed some light on this whole hermit thing. We'll see. March 05 A little fun (and I like the number)Compliments of Doc, I thought this would be a break from my usual fare.
Four jobs I've had:
Four places I've lived:
Four favorite TV shows:
Four places I've been:
Four places I visit every day in Cyberworld:
Four favorite foods (realistically & now):
Four places I'd rather be right now:
March 04 rollercoasterThe weather here in SE PA has been a bit nutty lately. At the beginning of January, we had temps up to 70 degrees. We have had that and everything in between to zero and negative wind chills. I even thought that we were coing out of the wintery temps and moving to more Spring like weather. Silly me. Mostly I guess I was hoping that I would not have to get more oil. With it going to the 30s this week, I will not be able to do that. Oh and this week, Spring sports start and I will be out interpreting on the field on Friday. Oh well.
Friday night I took the drive out to pick up Jamie at school. We shot over to the fire house where Colleen's badn was playing and made it there just in time. The band is really good and Colleen did a very nice job. I had a very good time going to see her. The girls have made some peace, finally. There has been much tension since Colleen started dating her current boyfriend. They have worked it out and I am so glad and relieved.
Took Jamie back yesterday afternoon. I had to kind of drop her off and run, as I was supposed to get back and take Jerry up some baked ziti. It was lovely to see Jamie, even if it was only a short time. She is doign a heck of a lot - taking 17.5 credits and working about 4 nights a week. I worry about that being too much but she is bound and determined to take care of her self financially.
It is a neat coincedence that the district swimming championships were held at Jamie's college. I had sort of wanted to go out and see some of my guys swimming. It did not work out time wise, mostly becuse the boys' section of it would be ending about 11:30 and I didn't se emyself driving home 45 minutes after that. I haven't been feeling all that great. Still, I keep up with it though reading the paper. One of my guys got first in the 50 yd free. Fantastic for him! Great way tfor his senior year, especially considering he is a year younger than many other seniors. While I was driving back to the highway, I saw a "W" coat. It was one of my favorite kids who had also swam with my kids. WHen I coached, I got to work with him alot toward the championship season to get his 30s to specific time so he could pace his 500 free (20 laps) just right. He was walking to a near-by convenience store, so I agve him a ride. We got to catch up a little. L is not swimming, as he was hurt during water polo and still has a partially detached retina. (ick!) He is either goign to Fordham or Marist next year. Has a full academic scholarship to Marist. So glad for him. It was good to see him and catch up.
I was suppposed to see Jerry last night when I took up the ziti for him. He called when I was on my way back from Jamie's school. Unfortunately, one of the guys at his work passed away yesterday. His son is out of the hospital and on a nebulizer. I think it is still very much on his mind. I wish I just had the money for us to go on out there so they could see each other. It could do them both some good.
Money. Sometimes, it is the baine of my existence. I guess that is because I am awful at managing anything financial. But, I am taking some steps to fix my end of it. I have been keeping track of all of my spending on a budget spread sheet and have gotten Budgeting for Dummies software that I will start to work with today. There are aspects of our financial situation I cannot do much about. There have been no child support payments since January 31. I suspect that Bill's unemployment has run out. I notified teh county domestic relations and they will contact his probation officer. That he does not work full time for any length of time more than 9 months and/or consciouly underemploys himself still blows me away. I know that he does it so that they do not lose any of the SS or food stamps they get for her 2 boys but it ticks me off no end. When we separated, he made $65-70K a year. That was back in 1994. It's neither here nor there now, as he has taken steps in his life since then to have it like it is now. It makes no matter to him that our four kids, her two and their one never asked to be born. He seems to have no sense of the fact that a parent is responsible for his/her child.
Add to that, we got a lettler from the agency I work for. Approximately 36.24 people will be losing their jobs. (just under the 50 that would force them to follow the WARN guidelines) What they will do if they get rid of the interpreter position is they will offer us a teaching assistant posittion. That would be about $15-20K a year less that I make now. I don't think I can handle that cut in pay. I need the benefits, so I am not sure what I will do. They are individually talking to the people directly effected before March 15 when there will be an open meeting for all of us. I am very curious to see how they handle this. I am expecting them not to have our best interests at heart and not even the students' best interests at heart. How sad. It is all the almighty doller. There have been so many laws passed recently that will be effecting schools all over. The march toward push in inclusion moves on, with misguided parents thinking they are doing their best for their kids by putting them into a class for "socialization" where at best some do a parrallel activity. (touching an abbacus during a calculus class) The Gaskin ruling here in PA in pushing more districts to put kids into a classroom when they are not ready. A self-contained or resource room within a "regular" school is not good neough, whether the kids need the support or not. And yet, these same kids have to take standardized,high stakes tests they cannot come close to passing.
Personally and selfishly, I am mad. I face losing a job I truly love doing along with my ability to take care of my family. I have been looking into a few other options. Luckily for me there are other options. We shall see how this goes. March 01 Will I ever learn?Well, once again I was wrong. Jerry was not avoiding me per se, he was in hermit mode because his son is sick. We live in SE Pennsylvania, his son if in Colorado with his mom. Apparently, the son has been in a hospital out there for a week with pneumonia. That doesn't really explain all the time he was incommunicado but most of it. When I take this into consideration, it was really only a few days. That I can deal with.
I finally found out Tuesday night. I had been sending Jerry voice mail messages, answering machinge messages and emails about every other day or so before that. AT the beginning of the week, I completely missed that is was the fifth "anniversary" of my Mom's death. I realized that on Tues and felt awful that I had not realized. Then we also found out that one of our dear, former co-workers is not doing well. We had all known she had brain cancer and were keeping a positive outlook. That was the only way Joan would have it. Since none of us had heard from her in a while, (she last visited us in Oct) we called the house and got one of her sons. She will pass at any time. Joanie-Joan is a brilliant. loving woman. She has taught countless deaf kids in the Philadelphia area, and was a sub interpreter for us for at least a decade. She always asked about each member of your family, accepted a gay son when that just wasn't done, could solve almost any crossword puzzle and exhuded how much she cared about each and every person around her. Joan was also one of the most impecably dressed people I have ever met, but was always willing to go on field trips and what not and get a little mussed up. Via con dios, Joan we love you!
Anyway, by Tues night I had myself in a tizzy. I had all kinds of terrible scenarios playing in my head and was at a point where I just realized that I could not keep calling Jerry and then waiting in vain hope that he would call. You would think by now I wouldn't be so darn needy. Aparently not. So, I called his cell phone adn started a message saying that although I still want to see him, I would not be calling anymore and explained the whys. I also stressed what I have seen as the positives in him, us and the things I wouldn't mind doing in the future. The cell phone cut me off, so I called back to finish the message and got Jerry live and in person. By that time I was blubbering. We talked pretty briefly. He has been sick himself and explained a little about his son being hospitalized. I apologized for being a jerk, which he said wasn't nessary. The rest of the conversation was nice enough, and I offered to do whatever I could to help him, his son and Lonnie. I doubt very much he will take me up on my offer. He is very willing to help anyone else out at the drop of a hat, but rarely lets anyone help him. Still, I will probably make a baked ziti tomorrow and take it up. I just want to hold him. I can picture him pacing in the living room as I have seen him do when he was sick himself or agitated about a situation he could do nothing about. He doesn't have enough money to just fly out there, and there will be pretty substantial uncovered medical expenses. At this point, I need to give him space but do what I can to help them all out. Hopefully he will let the wall come down enough where that can happen. Most of all, I want his son to be well and happy.
I very much want things to work out with us. For right now, I can be patient and supportive. I really should have know all those bad things were not the Jerry I know. In many ways I feel selfish for the way I was acting and for wanting us to still be us.
After talking with Jerry Tues night, I went into my kids' school for their concert. It was a Chorus invitational. All of the groups were good. My kids' school was the host and performed with the full chorus. That is any student who signs up for Chorus. The group is huge - 200+ and they sounded marvelous. One of the songs they sang was I will be True. It it sung to the tune of DannyBoy, which immediately follows and has always brought a tear to my eye. Well, Tues night it out and out had me crying. It just released all of the emotions from the last few days.
"I would be true"
by Howard Arnold Walter at the funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales:
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